I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
