p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize