You made me cry and you don't even care
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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