Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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