Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize