Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I supernannyed him into submission
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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