he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
