Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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