I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
