Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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