i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
