you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
