You really coming over, don't trick.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is that a dick in a sweater?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
