Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
