At least make sure they are 18
Why
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
