I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
