We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
