I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How external is "for external use only"?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
