thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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