AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize