I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
