covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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