I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
