Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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