i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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