She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
