She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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