He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
