fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
