We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize