Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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