Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
