How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize