i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm at about main and main street
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
