Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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