Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
