Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I party with great urgency now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
