The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
