you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
