Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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