Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
