it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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