hotel room ftw
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize