At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
