i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
