You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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