So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Bring me that man meat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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