I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
