if only i could text you this smell
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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