What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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