I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
