dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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