I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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