remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
