Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
