she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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