tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
