Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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