I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
