he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
