I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
