So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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