I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
