I wish I could punch you in the face.
I smell stomach acid.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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