Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were trust falling into bushes
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