She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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