this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
