I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
