is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
3pm strippers are depressing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
