That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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