he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize