my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
