im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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