Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
