Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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