I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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