i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
