oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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