We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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