Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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