dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
