i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
