I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
