I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
